Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
