we made out on top of his cat.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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