I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize