Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
