well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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