I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I need to calm my uterus...
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
