Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
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