how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
