I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
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