Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
