is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
