Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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