I think I won the penis lottery.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
nutella sex= disaster
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
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