in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
