if you like me you must not know who I am
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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