I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Walk of Shame today included voting.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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