: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
