It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
God, I missed his penis.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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