Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
