That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i already hear my dad disowning me
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Randomize
