The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
