you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
