Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize