I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
