It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
