please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
