need another drink. this is the easiest way
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
