I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
