While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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