That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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