he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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