in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Randomize
