There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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