You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
