They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
