I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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