Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
