I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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