there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Randomize
