I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
