He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
