So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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