SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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