How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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