just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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