OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Randomize
