Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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