Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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