Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
