It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize