You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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