i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Randomize
