arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
