he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
