I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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