is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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