very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Just cropdusted the office
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
