READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize
