he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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