covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
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