Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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