Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
