My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
