I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
